💤
Ascend to Total Laziness
One payment. Lifetime horizontal. Your butler will thank you (in 8 different voices).
Free
$0
The starter estate.
- ✓Full idle game & physics cat cursor
- ✓3 biomes (Day · Dusk · Night)
- ✓Generative ambient music
- ✓1 butler voice (onyx)
- ✓1 prestige with AI coat of arms
- ✓Global inactivity leaderboard
MOST LAZY
Premium (one-time)
$1.99
Pay once. Never work again.
- ✓Everything in Free
- ✓Unlimited prestige resets
- ✓8 butler voices (Shakespearean, surfer, Russian grandma...)
- ✓6 bonus biomes (underwater, medieval, cyberpunk, heaven, lava, space)
- ✓4K coat-of-arms wallpaper export
- ✓Eternal mode + AI overnight progress reports
30-day lazy-back guarantee · Stripe secured
Frequently Yawned Questions
Is this really a game if I can't play it?
Yes. Philosophically, this is the only honest game.
What happens if I click?
The butler will notice. He is always noticing.
Why $1.99?
Infinite laziness should not cost more than a gas station coffee.
Do I have to stay logged in?
No. The game runs in localStorage anonymously. Premium unlocks are tied to your account.
“I haven't moved in 11 hours. Life is finally working.”
Derek, 34
“My boss thinks I'm productive because the tab is always open.”
Amira, 29
“Meow.”
Sir Reginald Whiskers III